| WHAT NOT TO SAY | APPROPRIATE ALTERNATIVES |
| Birth Mothers: | |
| Is she going to give her baby up? or
Is she going to put up her child for adoption? |
Place her child for adoption or
Make an adoption plan for her child |
| Did she decide to keep her baby? | Did she choose to parent? |
| Why did the birth mother not want the baby? | Just don’t make assumptions |
| Foster Care: | |
| Foster child or
Foster kid |
A child in care or
A child in foster care or A child who is placed with you |
| I could never do what you do or
I could never give the child back! or I could never love a child and let him go |
Thank you for what you do |
| Aren’t you worried about your own kids? or
What might happen to your biological children? |
What a great learning opportunity for your biological children |
| Adoption: | |
| Is he yours? or
Is he your own? or Is this your real child? or Which one is yours? |
Is he your biological child? |
| Real parents or
Are you his real parents? |
Biological parents or
Birth parents or Are you the child’s biological parents? |
| Are they siblings? | Are your children biological siblings? |
| Do you have (or want to have) children of your own? or
Do you (or don’t you) want your own children? |
Do you have biological children as well?
|
| Where did you get your baby? | I’d love to hear the story of your adoption/foster care journey |
| What is he? | Where was he born? |
| Was it expensive? or
How much did he cost? |
I’d love to hear how families typically fund their adoptions and what type of financial commitment could be expected. |
| He is so lucky | I’m so thankful God ordained this adoption |
| I’m going to take you home with me | Just don’t say it |
| Normal family or
Natural family |
Families with only biological children |
| The child IS adopted | The child WAS adopted |
Access a video that shares this information at: https://lifelinechild.org/resources-for-friends-and-family/