Time In & Think-It-Over

* Children from hard places are already more likely to feel disconnected from you and sending your child away teaches them that it is okay to be disconnected.

* Traditional time-out can be damaging to your child’s attachment because when you send them away for their behavior you are not connecting with them.

* Time-in can be done in the same safe spot over and over again. For example: a certain chair or spot in their room.

o We encourage you to stick close to your child during time-in and be ready to talk through the behavior once they have calmed down.

o Some families use kitchen timers or special children’s clocks to show their child when time-in is complete.

o A general length for time-in is your child’s developmental age plus one minute- but you will need to choose the best amount of time based on your child.

* Think-It-Over is similar to time-in where you give your child time to think through their action and calm down before talking about what happened.

o Think-it-over works better for older children- it provides a break for both you and your child to re-group.

o You can have your child take a few minutes to think about what happened and when they are ready to talk they can simply say “ready” and you will be waiting.

* During time-in or think-it-over you can ask questions like:

o What happened for you to go to time-in?

o What were you thinking/feeling during that time?

o How did you handle yourself?

o What were the results/consequences of your actions?

o How can you handle the situation differently next time?