We understand that you may not think that adoption is a good option.
Here are some reasons we commonly hear from women like you.
Placing my child for adoption would make me feel too sad.
Life itself does not protect against loss. Separation after bonding with and carrying a baby for nine months will obviously be painful. The adoption experience for a birth mother can be one of emotion and even heartbreak, but you are not alone. There will be feelings of grief, as with any loss, but we are here to walk with you towards hope and healing. Healing takes strength and courage, and post-adoption counseling is highly recommended and is available. There is hope in knowing you made a responsible, loving selfless decision for your child. There is also hope for you too, as this choice gives you the freedom to pursue your dreams and goals of college, career, and/or focusing on your family or children you may already be parenting.
I need to take responsibility for my own actions.
It’s mature to feel like you need to be the sole care provider for your child, even if your pregnancy was unplanned, but placing a child for adoption is not avoiding responsibility. Evaluating the choices for your pregnancy and child is a responsible choice. There are many things to consider when making your decision: your finances, educational possibilities, stability in relationships, commitments to and from the baby’s father and your long-term chances for successful parenting. Really taking time to look at your specific strengths and needs, can be empowering as you decide what is right for you and your child. If you choose to parent, it will be much better to do so after you weigh your options, including adoption, instead of simply feeling trapped because you feel like parenting is the only choice for you and your child.
I have no guarantee that my baby will be happy.
Life holds no guarantees for anyone; however, you have the opportunity to make choices for your child based on in-depth information provided by prospective adoptive parents. They will tell you about who they are, their desire for adopting a child, and the love, care and stability they hope to provide for a child. Adoptive parents also have the financial means and social resources to give your child the best opportunities to thrive. It is our hope that through the opportunity to choose an adoptive family for your child, you will be able to move forward with placement in a situation that you feel very good about making.
My family does not want my baby placed with another family.
Adoption is something your family may not be comfortable with at this point. We will be happy to talk with you and your family about adoption adoption and the options you and even your family can have in an adoptive placement.
My friends think I should keep the baby.
Friends are a gift. They are usually sincere when they pressure you to parent, telling you they will help. However, most friends and family usually will not share their paychecks or be consistently willing to make other sacrifices so that you can go out, go to school, work, etc. In fact, many women have told us that friends and family have not followed through dependably with the support they promised to give. While the emotional support of friends is great, input from friends should not be the highest influence on your important decision. Children’s needs such as ongoing nurturing, safety, structure, and experiences that fit their stage of development must be considered. Let your desires and hopes for your child’s well-being be the deciding factor for yours and your child’s future. Asking the question, “What is best for my child?” allows you to consider the well-being of your child above all things, even your own feelings. This is something that some people, friends, and family will not understand, but ultimately you are the one making this decision based on what you feel i s best for you and your child.