We have all seen it. We have all been there. We are at a social gathering, usually a pot luck dinner at church, when that cute and adorable toddler cozies up to a random leg and puts on the death grip. But it is the wrong leg. I mean who can see faces

SIBLINGS:  PROMOTING ATTACHMENTS A strong emphasis is placed on parents attaching to their new child, but it is equally important for all family members to become connected. Now that you are home with your newest family member and are over the jet lag you may be wondering, where do we go from here?  How do

L-O-V-E February is the month of Love.  We begin to see Hearts and Cupids wherever we go.  Those icons can serve as reminders to us of the importance of  loving our children well.  It is easy in the midst of life’s business to become more perfunctory in our role as a parent.  We fall into

NAVIGATING THE HOSPITAL: Maintaining a Connection The period of time following your child’s adoption is critical for developing and maintaining connection and attachment.  Once home, your goal is to create an environment that is safe and conducive for healing. You and your child are beginning to learn about one another and forming a relationship. In

  WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT The term “cocooning “ has been applied to a number of different disciplines from social science, marketing, economic forecasting to parenting. So, what does “cocooning” mean as we apply it to adoption? Webster’s Dictionary defines cocoon as a covering usually made of silk which some insects

Self-soothing behaviors in children and adolescents from hard places can be confusing and the range of parental responses to such behaviors can be vast.  Some families look at this behavior and may think it is developmentally appropriate while others may think something is “wrong” with their child. Our desire is that this information will help

Touch plays a very important part of developing attachment and bringing healing to our children who have experienced less than optimum beginnings.  It was discovered in the early 19th century that touch was just as important as food, clothing and shelter to the growth and well-being of infants. Children in orphanages were dying in spite

Matthew 6:22 and Luke 11:34 state, “the eye is the lamp of the body”.   Shakespeare stated, “The eyes are the windows to your soul”.  There is no doubt that it is through our eyes that we connect with one another.  Much of our non-verbal communication involves a look into one another’s eyes. It is through

Many people may have prayed for and waited for the moment they get to meet your little one, but I would like to take a moment to remind you and your family and friends of the big picture of adoption. We encourage everyone (including the parents) to keep the child’s best interest in mind. For

Time In & Think-It-Over * Children from hard places are already more likely to feel disconnected from you and sending your child away teaches them that it is okay to be disconnected. * Traditional time-out can be damaging to your child’s attachment because when you send them away for their behavior you are not connecting

When I ask families how they are adjusting at home with their new child, they will often state, almost as an apology, “All we do is play; we are just playing.” When I hear this answer I want to shout from the rooftops “Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! They are engaging in play!” Play is the most

When children come into our care from hard places, whether as a newborn or an older child, they have experienced trauma. Our privilege as a parent is to walk with them through the healing that their hearts need. Is it easy? Absolutely not. However, shepherding a child in this process can be one of the

The bonding and attachment process is referring to building trust, mutual affection, love, and security.  It is important to see that connecting with your child will affect all aspects of daily life and is the most important factor in positive adjustment for the adopted child and family overall.  These are some reminders that might help: