Manipulation and Control

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
“You’re not the boss of me,” is a childhood declaration of mine that now lives in family infamy. Growing up I longed for independence, and this announcement was my way of expressing it. Children have a God-given desire to impact their environment and make choices. But perhaps you know a child who, like me, takes
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Ingratitude

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
INGRATITUDE Gratitude comes easier to some of us because of life lessons and experiences. It is a virtue that is cultivated over time, over a life span. However, many children haven’t had the healthy life lessons or a loving caregiver to help them develop a grateful heart. In a world where the cultural norm is
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Merry Christmas or is it?

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
For many of us the Christmas Season generates excitement which can include everything from planning special meals and gifts, attending seasonal programs with Christmas music and time with family.  For a child from foster care the memories of Christmas may not be so merry! For many of our adopted children they may be experiencing the
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Technology

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
Technology, social media, social networking sites, the internet; those words carry a lot of weight in our society and have brought significant change in how we do most everything in life. Many leading researchers say that children ages 0-3 need absolutely no screen time due to their developmental needs and brain growth. Older children need
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ABC’s for a Successful Start to the School Year

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
What feelings did you have as summer vacation ended and the new school year began?  You may have experienced a range of feelings that included disappointment, excitement, delight, hopefulness, fear, anxiety, worry and insecurity. A new school year is loaded with so many changes! It can bring with it meeting new teachers, learning new schedules,
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Lying

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
LYING Although I can now confidently say that integrity is a value that I hold in high regard, as a child, I must confess that I had a bit of a lying problem. I frequently lied as an attempt to stay out of trouble or to “earn” approval. Honesty was a virtue that I had
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Self-Soothing

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
Self-soothing behaviors in children and adolescents from hard places can be confusing and the range of parental responses to such behaviors can be vast.  Some families look at this behavior and may think it is developmentally appropriate while others may think something is “wrong” with their child. Our desire is that this information will help
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Summer Fun

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
Great memories were triggered as we cut into the first watermelon of the summer season. Memories from childhood which meant days without schedules, sleeping in late and staying outside playing until those last beams of the sun disappeared.   When I became a mother I too looked forward to summer which meant a reprieve from early
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Food Anxiety

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
FOOD ANXIETY Most of us eat at least three meals a day but if you are like me, there are multiple snacks in between.  That’s a lot of time spent eating!  One of my favorite times of day is dinner time, but when you have a child with food anxiety, dinner time can turn into
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Touch

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
Touch plays a very important part of developing attachment and bringing healing to our children who have experienced less than optimum beginnings.  It was discovered in the early 19th century that touch was just as important as food, clothing and shelter to the growth and well-being of infants. Children in orphanages were dying in spite
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Sleep

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
SLEEP Sleepless in Seattle?  Birmingham?  Charleston?  San Antonio?   Sleep disturbances are one of the most common challenges for a child transitioning to a new home.  Causes for sleep disturbances can include: the many new exciting experiences and stimulation they have during the day that make it difficult to transition to rest, feelings of grief and
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Eye Contact

January 4, 2019 Justin Walters
Matthew 6:22 and Luke 11:34 state, “the eye is the lamp of the body”.   Shakespeare stated, “The eyes are the windows to your soul”.  There is no doubt that it is through our eyes that we connect with one another.  Much of our non-verbal communication involves a look into one another’s eyes. It is through
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Making Sense of Senses

January 3, 2019 Justin Walters
* What to look for: o What sensory experiences does your child seek out? o What sensory experiences does your child avoid? o Where does your child struggle? A Child Can Be: * Over-responsive * Under-responsive * Sensory-craving * Over-Responsive o This person is hypersensitive or hyper-alert to sensory input. o They may be a
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Older Children & Tools for Discipline

January 3, 2019 Justin Walters
Older Children & Tools for Discipline Be a Role Model: * As parents, we must demonstrate or model what we want our children to do, especially when they do not have language to communicate with us initially. * They are much more likely to do what you do, not what you say. Provide Alternatives for
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Shaping Phrases

January 3, 2019 Justin Walters
Shaping Phrases Shaping phrases are short little scripts that focus on telling your child what to do, rather than what not to do. They are a positive alternative to a long lecture and very helpful while the child is learning your language. Often times, we tell our kids “no” or “stop” but we do not
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Time In & Think-It-Over

January 3, 2019 Justin Walters
Time In & Think-It-Over * Children from hard places are already more likely to feel disconnected from you and sending your child away teaches them that it is okay to be disconnected. * Traditional time-out can be damaging to your child’s attachment because when you send them away for their behavior you are not connecting
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Parenting: How to Deliver a Consequence

February 16, 2018 rachelmiley
These discussions of trauma and attachment can, at times, leave a parent feeling paralyzed in how to respond to misbehavior for fear they will cause further damage and trauma...As we provide discipline, (training that corrects, molds, and encourages moral character) rather than punishment (which can be punitive and create fear in a child), we help that child find the secure foundation they need.
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Resources For Babysitters and Childcare Workers

July 25, 2017 rachelmiley
As a foster or adoptive parent, it is important for you to seek childcare for your children where the workers understand and can provide at least a very base level of trauma-informed care. These training videos can help prepare everyone from your favorite date night babysitter to church nursery workers as they care for children
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Resources For Friends and Family

July 25, 2017 rachelmiley
Is someone you love a foster or adoptive parent… or perhaps he or she is planning to be? Do you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of caring for that individual or couple as they travel down this unknown path? We want to help equip you! Here are some brief videos that will greatly assist you
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Frequently Asked Questions about Counseling

June 13, 2017 rachelmiley
At Lifeline, we know that families struggle post placement, and we expect challenges to arise as part of the journey. We desire to be a safe place where they can seek help from those struggles. Throughout the following frequently asked questions, we want to shed light onto what counseling at Lifeline looks like and to help answer some lingering questions many adoptive and foster families may have.
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