Bonding & Attachment for Newly Adopted Children

The bonding and attachment process is referring to building trust, mutual affection, love, and security.  It is important to see that connecting with your child will affect all aspects of daily life and is the most important factor in positive adjustment for the adopted child and family overall.  These are some reminders that might help:

  • Remember to spend much intentional time focusing on bonding and attachment activities with your child: Eye contact, touch, laughter, verbal praise and affection.
  • Remain emotionally present through your child’s changing behaviors and moods during this time to further facilitate trust and attachment. Much like we either run to or from the Lord during times of difficulty, children are going to need parents to be the rock for them whether they are being still with their child or addressing their behaviors.
  • Remember that attachment does not come over night and it is okay to not feel completely connected to your adoptive child instantaneously. This process takes time and it is important to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings if you do not feel an immediate bond or love for your child.
  • Please contact your post adoption worker for additional ideas to promote attachment and bonding or for referrals for additional counseling.